The Meddling Mother-in-Law

AI translated from the original Chinese.

Generated by Microsoft Designer

Problems between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law aren't unique to Chinese societies. When a woman lives with her husband's family after marriage, we often hear of discord between them, but in the vast majority of cases the daughter-in-law chooses to bear it.

Take Ms. C, who is Taiwanese. She married into another country for love, but her mother-in-law is difficult by nature, quarrelsome and always picking fights. The neighbors can't stand it, let alone Ms. C, who lives with her.

What's going on in Ms. C's chart that she'd meet such a difficult mother-in-law?

機月同梁 can speak of family affairs

1. 天機 and 天梁 (Tian Ji, Tian Liang): Ms. C's 天機 and 天梁 are in 辰, sitting with Lu ● and Quan □, but the 辰 Palace's stem 戊 makes 天機 become 化忌. Generally, this means meeting nagging, petty relatives.
2. 天同 and 太陰 (Tian Tong, Tai Yin): Ms. C's 天同 and 太陰 are in 子, forming the "水澄桂萼 pattern." But 水澄桂萼 is generally triggered by Lu, Quan and Ke, and here the 子 Palace has only the destructive force of 化忌 ×. So the 水澄桂萼 pattern can't come into play, and instead adds to the worries of family affairs.

That's the shared chart. To say whether she'll really meet a bad mother-in-law, we still need to bring in individual data.

Bringing in the mother-in-law's data

1. The mother-in-law is a Rat, so the 子 Palace matters a great deal. In Ms. C's chart, the 化忌 effects in the 子 and 辰 palaces are poor, and the mother-in-law happens to fall in the 子 Palace, exactly triggering the 機月同梁 problem.
2. The mother-in-law's main star is 巨門 (Ju Men). 巨門 is the "star of right and wrong," and also the "god of meddling," easily finding fault with everything, so she speaks up with her opinions, and much trouble arises.
3. The mother-in-law's stem in the 子 Palace is 戊, making 天機 become 化忌 ×; her 巨門's stem is also 戊, again making 天機 become 化忌 ×. This 化忌 effect fits exactly the weak point in Ms. C's chart, which is why the discord between them arises.
4. In more detail, the 子 Palace holds 陰煞 (Yin Sha). This too is a sign of the mother-in-law easily stirring up trouble.
5. The mother-in-law's 祿存 (Lu Cun) is in 申, which would be good, but because of 化忌 × it shows up poorly, and with 空劫 (Kong Jie) running rampant too, 祿存 becomes the pattern "祿 meeting a clash and break: ill hidden in the good place." All we can say is that although the mother-in-law easily stirs up trouble, her heart is really with the family; she's just used to expressing herself negatively, so it's hard to change.

Conclusion

Problems between mothers-in-law and daughters-in-law have been hard to solve through the ages. For a case like this, all I can suggest is not living with the mother-in-law. Of course, if she lives with her mother-in-law, there must be reasons she can't get out of it. But from the angle of fate, apart from setting up a small household of her own with her husband, there's no other solution.